Being a parent comes with so many challenges which can feel amplified when you are raising a child without living together so we shared our seven top tips that even out some of the speed bumps!
Always check with each other before making decisions for your kids. Mine have a habit of asking me for something after their mum has said no, which can cause arguments when I say yes!
– Peter, Household Money Saver
My ex-husband and I co-parent our 13-year-old and the most important thing we found is for both parents to have the same boundaries. Although we are no longer a couple, we are still very much a team, and as a result, our son is growing up to be a wonderful young man.
– Laura, Five Little Doves
I co-parent my twins one of which has complex medical needs and I’d say that communication is absolutely key (particularly as children get older and can play parents off against each other occasionally), put the children first before your own wishes/plans (eg when considering time spent with the children. My ex wakes up with them this Xmas morning and I hate it to the point that it makes me cry but my boys need both parents and I had them last year). But I’d also say that at times and on some points there has to be a point where you agree to disagree. Eg my ex thinks at 12 my son should take himself to bed and insists I stop walking him up to bed. I refuse and have explained that on things like that we have to have a rule for his house and one for mine and our son will have to adapt. But we parent brilliantly as a team so things like that are rare and more acceptable in the big scheme.
– Charlie, Our Altered Life
Consistency is very beneficial to you and your co-parent as well as your child. It will help you to settle into your new lives very quickly. Once you and your co-parent have established an effective custody schedule be sure to stick with it. You and your co-parent must be completely dedicated to it.
– Elizabeth, The Homemakers Journal
Routine, consistency and communication. Me and my ex co-parent our son. It’s not always easy, especially at the start, but we’ve settled into a routine that works I think. I guess I’d also say sometimes you need to pick your battles and let things go, for the good of having a civil, even friendly relationship.
– Donna, Bobsy’s Mum
Be careful what you say in front of your child, they repeat all sorts of things from a young age. I’ve heard criticisms of my parenting style coming out of my daughter’s mouth (clearly her Dad’s words).
– Kate, Counting to Ten
Try and remain amicable, even friends is possible for some. Everything will become much harder to manage if you’re also tearing strips off each other.
– Natalie, Mumworthy